At the end of 2017, I went into a DEEP depression. After quitting my 10-year job to pursue my artistic desires, I released my 11th album, travelled across the world to promote it, and marketed myself like I had never done so before. I invested in high quality music video productions, tested the LA waters for a month, and made a presence at both New York and Paris Fashion week, yet the doors I was seeking to unlock remained closed. You see, I’ve recorded 11 albums, written over 100 songs for commercial use (radio, advertising, movies, TV, games), gone to various music conferences, visited several radio stations both in Europe and the US to promote my music, and yet, it seemed as if I’d been running in the same spot for years. I was caught in the noise, and yet was well aware of the fact that breaking into the industry would be difficult. I never imagined it’d take me over 12 years to unsuccessfully try to get my foot in the door till I, literally, gave up. How could I pierce through the ceiling and come out on the other side? How could I make a successful living as a creative and entertainer? I mean, I’m nice, talented, driven, creative, smart, cute… What was I doing wrong?
From October of 2017 to February of 2018, I reflected and thought about my journey. All this time, I’d been waiting for someone to “discover” me and say, “I believe in your talent and want to help fund your career; I want to open up doors and help you get to where you should be. I BELIEVE in you and your creativity.” Of course, that NEVER happened because that NEVER happens, and if it does, you should be highly suspicious. I felt as if I had failed and decided that quitting was best. I didn’t know what to do with myself, or with my life. No motivation, no emotions, no desire to live- just sleep. Months passed and after unsuccessfully making efforts to secure a job to keep me and my mind busy, I decided to embark upon a trip to Mexico to spend time with loved ones. Creating priceless memories with them made me realize how LUCKY of a person I was for having the opportunity to fail and yet, try again were I to decide to opt for that route; plus, the support of my family and friends at that sensitive moment in my life meant everything to me. This helped me come around. One thing I knew for certain is: there are NO shortcuts in this business, and if you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.
After living in LA for a month, I discovered I wasn’t ready for it. It’s too comfortable! Sunny days, great parties, beautiful people, awesome beaches… It’s hard to stay motivated and grounded in such a materialistic and beautifully pretentious environment when nothing, career wise, had solidified. I’d applied to several industry related jobs and no one ever reached out to me. So, I drove back to Dallas and decided to use this down time to learn and try new things; I began reading, researching, and inquiring, but it wasn’t until March of 2018 that I completely came to understand that if I wanted to make it in this industry, I was going to have to bust my ass, perform wherever I could, get even more creative and GET BACK OUT THERE!! I had to allow people to meet Ulises, the artist, and experience the being that I am. While I did perform all around the DFW between 2007 & 2011, I’ve grown, learned, and matured extensively as an artist since then. If I was to truly be successfully INDEPENDENT, I had to learn to depend on no one but myself and my talents to survive. So, I began to see this as an opportunity. I began practicing again and new songs started to emerge from my being; it’s like I was rediscovering myself and who I was by stripping away layers of who I was while aiming to be much more authentic, aware, present, realistic, and genuine than ever before. Discovering that my Instagram account was purposely reported by an individual who deemed a provocative picture of mine “too much” for their sensitive eyes motivated me even more. When you are moving with purpose and on the right path, only GOD can stop you (though many men will try) and so, I decided to give it another shot.
There has never been a second option for me. The creative field is what I’m best at whether it involves fashion, music, writing, etc.… It is my life! I didn’t realize how much I couldn’t live without it! This trial God placed me through was beautifully sour. While learning a lot about myself, I also learned to trust and have faith regardless of how wrong the situation may appear to be. God’s fingerprint has been all over these experiences and lessons gifted to me and I am extremely humbled and grateful. While this journey has been challenging, I’ve decided to shift my perception and once again start locally to work my way up. I will be launching an Indie Gogo and Patreon campaign as well as an online digital store where I’ll be selling EXCLUSIVELY fly Ulises merchandise. I will also be searching for locations where I can showcase this along with my creativity in hopes of meeting new people, connecting with them, and creating NEW memories. My goal is to sell my ULISES merchandise to not only fund my next artistic project, but also, finish paying off the remainder of those pesky student loans. This year, I’ve vowed to: Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, and speak without offending. I guess the message of this post is: never give up on something your heart can’t live without. Failure is the opportunity to begin again. This time, more intelligently, and even if the odds seem like they’re against you, still, try.